


Thus Spoke Kishibe Rohan: Get the fuck out of my swamp

by Antoszowa



Category: Shrek (Movies), ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: First Meetings, How Do I Tag, M/M, rohan shut up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:01:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21887113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antoszowa/pseuds/Antoszowa
Summary: The great Rohan Kishibe heard a rumor about monster hiding inside the forest. He gone on a trip to take reference photos hoping that he may spot the yokai that people were talking about. That what he found got him completely out of guard.
Relationships: Kishibe Rohan/Shrek (Shrek)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	Thus Spoke Kishibe Rohan: Get the fuck out of my swamp

**Author's Note:**

> A small Christmas & birthday gift for my friend <3
> 
> Don't take it seriously...unless?

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining warmly, the sky was almost cloudless. It was perfect day to take some reference photos. There were rumors in Morioh that in the forest was hiding horrifying monster. Of course, Rohan had to find out about all this. He thought about a paranormal subplot in his manga for some time now, so it was great opportunity to learn more about this type of events. What if someone spotted a yokai that was too brave?

He took his briefcase, a bag pack and a camera, and left on the trip. He arrived at an unusual swamp. It wasn't that dirty like it should be. There was all green around, birds were singing and flowers were blooming. On days like these, pricks like him... Should be burning in hell.  
He felt a sudden presence in his surroundings, though he couldn't spot from where it was coming. He turned around. When he returned to his previous position he saw a large being right in front of him. He jumped away terrified, grabbing his heart.

"You scared me!" He said reproachfully.

"Perfect, now get lost".

"Excuse me?!" He finally looked at him. A massive green creature was standing in front of him with angry expression. What was that? An ogre? Rohan got fascinated immediately. He never saw one before. He didn't even think that they existed, they were rather European folklore.

"I said fuck off out of my swamp!" he growled. How dare he give The Great Kishibe Rohan orders?! And in such a mean way! Disgusting!

"I'm going nowhere!"

"Great" he made in quick step forward and Rohan reacted immediately.

"Heaven's D--" a big fist hit his head like a wrecking ball. His mind became dark for a second, as he fell over the ground. The last thing he saw was big monster boots approaching him.

* * *

"Do you know him?"

"No, but I would love to".

"He's so handsome"

"I wonder what happened".

"The ambulance should be here in a few minutes".

"Maybe he's just a drunkard".

"No way, look at these clothes!"

Rohan slowly opened his eyes, listening to muted voices of strangers surrounding him. Ambulance sirens started to rumble in the distance. He was dizzy, barely hearing anything. His vision was pretty fogy and terribly bright, the sun was ruthless. The ambulance stopped at the safe distance from him and Rohan furrowed at a sudden touch on his arm. He stood up quickly, trying to keep balance.

"Excuse me, sir, the paramedics are here" said unknown Man.

Mangaka furrowed and said "What's going on?! I'm fine".

"I recommend you to--"

"I don't have time!" he turned on his heel and ran into the forest again. He had to go back to the mystery swamp and investigate! His curiosity was reaching its zenith.

Fortunately he managed to find the place again, thanks to Heaven's Door. He came from a different direction this time. It was easier to see his house from there. Rohan shivered. How could he live in such an obscure and dirty place. He looked around. The monster was nowhere to be seen. Mangaka decided to take advantage on this, time to spy! He quietly approached the house, carefully looking through windows. No one inside. He came to the door.

"You again?!" he heard low voice behind him. Fuck. He turned around quickly. They both were pissed. Rohan will be hit again and he couldn't continue his research in peace. Shrek of course wasn't happy about stranger at his peaceful place. Mangaka admitted that he played it wrong. He should be more friendly. But how, when this monster is so bossy and arrogant?! Unbelievable! He was rushing The Great Kishibe Rohan! Relax, you're able to sacrifice your pride for greater good, the art! He scanned the monster from toes to head. He was searching for any similarity to talk about. He could just use his stand, but there was the risk that the creature would be faster again. Wait, what is this? He holds something.

"Eh I'm sorry" he said quickly "but what is it in your hand?" He asked pointing at a gray neddle-like Item. Did he sound desperate? Maybe. Excited? As hell.

"Oh this?" He stretched out his arm and opened it. It was something like a web, with small found objects inside it. "Spiders" Rohan looked at it closely, okay, they were already moving. Human fixed his gaze on ogre as he took a few of them and threw into his mouth with confidence. Ough. Seems like he found what he was looking for.

"Oh, what are they like? These living in houses aren't really tasty" he swallowed thickly. He wouldn't even think that he would talk about one of his bizarre experiment like about casual culinary experience.

The monster grumbled "If I give you one, would you leave me alone already?"

"I promise nothing" he said and took one, throwing it into his mouth, imitating his research object. It was crunchy, with delicate meat inside. Actually, it didn't taste as bad as he expected. He hummed "they're good".

"So what you are there for basically?" said green creature placing one hand on his hip.

"I'm searching for inspiration and reference for my future manga project. I'm Kishibe Rohan, genius and the greatest mangaka in the world! And you?" he said with confidence, puffing out his chest.

"I'm Shrek" he snorted.

"Nice to meet you Shrek" fuck him actually. He hated treating others equally. The only person, who deserved to be kind to, was Koichi. Reliable and mature teenager. Not like the punks he befriended. He always treated Rohan with respect and adoration. Shrek was different. He acted like he was god, thinking that he could decide about Rohan's actions. He was so confident, that he seemed to treat any other being as his subordinate, whom he could be mean to. Just like Kishibe. It was annoying, but at the same time, intriguing. Exciting, snapping back made the newly met person not do boring like the others. Not like Josuke, he was an asshole. "Listen, let's make a deal. I'll go around here for some time, you let me do a few sketches and I'll leave you alone".

"Or I could hit you again" he growled and made a few big steps toward him, causing Rohan stepping back rapidly.

"Hey, didn't you feel lonely here? Without no one to talk to".

"No".

"Worry no more, I'm here now! Look, we're similar. I also like odd food and I'm green!"

Shrek looked at him not amused "Not really".

"Oh come on, you can imagine there's more than my hair".

"I don't want to".

"Okay, another take. If you hit me again and throw away somewhere outside the forest, I'll return here again! If you accept my offer, you can be sure that you'll never see me again".

Shrek stopped and thought about it. It wasn't that bad. Artist are quiet when they're working right? Maybe he wouldn't make a big mess and he should have peace. "Fine. But only a few. And don't touch anything".

Rohan's eyes shone. Success! Time to spy again. "As you wish". Not really.

"And if I see you there again, I'll break your bones without hesitation".

They went into small hut. Rohan looked around. It looked far more cozy now, than through the dusty windows. The furniture seemed to be handmade from thick, wooden planks. At the center of the room was a big fireplace. Rohan felt a warm feeling in his chest as he imagined lying here in the winter, under fat, furred leathers, eating your favorite dishes. Alone, without noise and annoying children begging for sweets. He was spending every holiday like this, working on project of his life. Sometimes he felt lonely, but then he would call Koichi to talk about trivial problems and rumors, spreading around the town. Good, quiet Morioh. He didn't regret moving in there. The advantages definitely outweigh the flaws.

Rohan approached the fireplace and started to sketch with a quick pace. All of this was new. Inflatable frogs? Disgusting. Eyeballs in a jar? Cruel! His attention took a green candle stuck to the table. Bizarre, such primitive being would know how to dye wax? Or is it produced by green bees of this forest? He cut a piece on his finger and tasted. Bitter, wasn't wax rather tasteless?

"Hey, what is it?" He pointed at the candle.

Shrek sat comfortably on his wooden chair "My earwax".

At this moment Rohan stuck out his tongue, wiping it in his sleeve. Atrocity.

He heard as monster laughed loudly "didn't you say that you like odd food?"

Rohan narrowed his eyes in disgust and fixed gaze on his companion "Veryy funny, haha".

He recovered quickly and returned to researching. He couldn't waste time. After maybe a hour he felt like he sketched everything in here. Everything except one little detail.

"I'm almost done" he stated "but I need one more thing".

"Oh what now?!" Shrek was visibly annoyed. It took him so long and he isn't done yet?

"I need to sketch you".

"Excuse me?" he was dumbfounded. Why he needed it? Oh, he knew exactly why. He was the horrible creature, everyone should be scared of. It was enough. Everyone looked at him like that. Like on heartless monster "No. You already have sketches of my house to show me as soulless monstrosity".

"Why? I don't want to show you like that".

"What? What are you talking about".

"Look, you'll sit on this chair, with your hands on the armrests, majestic and proud. In front of the wooden wall and the forest you're a part of. Like a creature that deserved respect, not abandonment".

"You don't think I'm disgusting?" It was palpable hesitation in his voice.

"Of course not!" Of course, he thought that. Shrek was green, fat ogre, lighting his earwax and eating eyeballs, inflated frogs and spiders. But he also was pretty human like, stubborn, bossy and, how oddly could it sound, had an aesthetic sense in decorating his small home.

"There?" he asked sitting on an armchair as Rohan told him too.

"It's perfect" mangaka took a chair from behind the table and placed it on front of his green 'sibling' in personality, starting sketching. He felt like he couldn't stop, the inspiration was overwhelming. He felt like he would go home and work for a whole day and night without a break. It was a shame, that he promised to leave him alone after this. He could use him for more references and sketches. He had a good warrior figure, a bit goofy. He would also look good at posing for a great, arrogant ruler like now. And he started to like him a little. He needed one more expression, the authentic one. Surprise.

"Okay, I need another pose" he approached him to set him up. When he was close enough, leaned over and kissed him firmly, but gentle, not to scare him. He couldn't make it too long, Shrek would start defend himself and get angry. It's not the thing Rohan was looking for.

He moved away quickly as Shrek hardly moved backwards. But he could move away too much, he had a walk behind him. Brilliant! Rohan sketched his face rapidly. Perfect! Exactly what he expected! Well, it wasn't a fair move, but who cares. The art needs sacrifice! Everyone should understand that!

"Thank you for your cooperation! I have everything I needed, bye" he went out the hut leaving Shrek dumbfounded, covering his mouth. He looked at the floor. His heart was beating like crazy. When he returned to his right mind, he quickly rose from the chair and gone after the mangaka. He already was leaving the swamp, as he promised. He shouted after him.

"Hey, wait!" Rohan turned with innocent face and hummed "You know... If you need anything in the future, then you could visit me here, you know. I think you were right, it feels kind of lonely sometimes".

Rohan laughed on that. He irritated him and it still worked out his away. Checkmate, he was so easy to manipulate. Cute. "I'll visit you for sure!" he waved him goodbye and left the forest.

THE END


End file.
